I am 46 years old and was a nanny from 2003 to 2018. I had a passion for caring for children with kindness, love, laughter, and sharing. Fifteen years of my life that I will never forget. Today, for seven years now, I have been forbidden from practicing my profession because of the guidelines of the High Authority for Health.
The Day Everything Changed
I had BB in my care for only five weeks. He was a sweetie, a very cuddly baby who needed reassurance and was often sick before the tragedy. He had had rhinopharyngitis, then gastroenteritis, an ear infection, and wasn’t feeling well. However, I accepted to take him because his parents were working.
That day, he hadn’t been feeling well for several days: fever, loss of appetite, severe diarrhea. On Tuesday evening, BB left with his father after a difficult day filled with many tears. I felt uncomfortable and exchanged messages with the parents. At 4 PM, my little one vomited his bottle. His father was coming to pick him up.
Two good hours passed. Early October in Haute-Savoie, it gets chilly in the evening, so I gave BB a blanket because he didn’t have a coat.
On Wednesday morning, BB arrived at 8 AM and still wasn’t feeling well. His father had been warned that if this continued, I would call him to pick him up. The morning passed, BB was tired, his stools were liquid, he wouldn’t drink water or his bottle of milk. He was restless, and I was worried, so I informed the parents.
He wasn’t eating anything and kept putting his teddy on his face. I decided to put him down for a nap between 12:30 PM and 1 PM. At 2 PM, screams alerted me: BB wasn’t doing well at all. He was vomiting, pale, and cuddling in my arms to calm himself. I informed the parents to come pick him up. In an instant, BB fainted; he was like a rag doll in my arms. I called the firefighters directly because I couldn’t reach the parents.
I no longer felt his breath and laid him on my couch to start CPR following the instructions from emergency services over the phone. The SAMU and gendarmerie arrived ten minutes after my call, but there was a slight baby breath present. I was paralyzed with horror.
When the Diagnosis Came
BB was taken to Geneva Hospital where MRIs and scans were performed. Immediately, the hospital told the parents to cut off all contact with me, the nanny. BB had two cardiac arrests between my house and the hospital. The next day, the parents decided to unplug him because there were too many sequelae.
I learned this through a message from the parents. Twenty-four hours had passed since BB’s loss of consciousness, and it was discovered that he was no longer in this world. From then on, everything unfolded: testimonies as a witness, I felt devastated, not eating or sleeping but had to stay strong for my family and children.
One year later, I was placed under arrest for murder of a minor. The parents were also arrested separately. After thirty-seven hours of detention, I was released and allowed to return home. At that moment, I didn’t know what was worse: the detention or the cardiac message about this tiny being. I don’t even know how I got back home.
In 2018, another arrest took place. The High Authority for Health had issued new recommendations: the last responsible person is guilty. So I was charged and placed under judicial control. HAS declared me guilty, so the judge put me on trial. I was accused of a crime I didn’t commit; they asked me to confess something horrible that I hadn’t done: shaking this little being.
How can people still be accused today in the 21st century based solely on recommendations from the High Authority for Health?
Baby died in October 2016. My first arrest took place in September 2017, followed by a second one in November 2018. Since then, my life has been suspended in uncertainty, but I continue to proclaim my innocence.
How can one assert with precision on a simple scan that this subdural hematoma was caused at an exact hour and minute? How can we let innocents be accused of such horror? How can we allow the innocent to live in survival mode for years, like me who has been accused for seven years with this sword hanging over my head? I am not alone in this fight. Parents and grandparents are also affected. We must stop these injustices, prevent sending innocents to prison, and ensure that no one is ever convicted without solid evidence. France needs to catch up with other countries in terms of science and justice. Of course, we need to protect children from abuse, but it is equally crucial to stop these injustices that are destroying our lives.
Living Under Suspicion
My marriage did not survive this ordeal. I had to protect my children, now aged 19 and 21, who are waiting for this terrible story to end. With this drama, I have lost everything, including my health. Following the emotional shock, I became a type 1 diabetic, requiring an insulin pump for the rest of my life. My body also developed HPV, leading to a hysterectomy a year ago. Today, I do not spend a single night without thinking about my little one who would be nine years old today.
Financially, it is a disaster. I truly understand what they mean when they say freedom has no price. I have lost my family and home, ending up in social housing where I must manage my illness alone, find work, and keep it while living each day with this sword hanging over my head.
Today, I still feel this sense of injustice and misunderstanding. I am afraid every time I see a gendarme’s car or receive a registered letter. Fear is omnipresent in my life.
For consistency across testimonies, this text may have been slightly edited or translated by artificial intelligence. If you notice any error or inconsistency, please don’t hesitate to contact us.
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