My husband and I have been together for 13 years. The desire to have children came quickly in our relationship. After finishing our studies, we welcomed our first daughter. Three years later, we welcomed our second princess.
Pregnancy and Birth
The pregnancy was difficult due to placenta previa. Despite this issue, everything went well. The birth took place by emergency cesarean section at 36 weeks of amenorrhea (GA). Our daughter was therefore premature and weighed 2.6 kg for a length of 41 cm. She had significant jaundice at birth that lasted for some time after we returned home. Weight gain was difficult; we juggled between breastfeeding and formula supplements. We changed several brands of milk once we were back home. It was an extremely calm baby who rarely cried. She needed to be held, and there were many regurgitations after bottles or feedings. She was only cared for by us or her grandmother.
The Day Everything Changed
Four to five days before the tragic event, she vomited in her crib (lying on her back) and aspirated without immediate consequences. Following this incident, we decided to position her semi-upright to avoid another choking episode.
The day before, she had unexplained crying spells and seemed more agitated. My husband and I thought that if it persisted, we would schedule an appointment with her pediatrician or a doctor. The next day, when she was in the semi-upright position, she fell onto a remote control (face against the temple). After this incident, she gradually fell asleep. My husband immediately alerted me; I told him to stimulate her as she wasn’t responding anymore. He then called emergency services. My husband massaged our baby for 40 minutes alone. Upon my arrival at home, we continued to massage her until the rescue team arrived, which was about a total of 50 minutes of massage. The firefighters continued the massage for an additional 15 minutes until intubation by the doctor, totaling approximately one hour and fifteen minutes of massage.
When the Diagnosis Was Given
We were first told about shaken baby syndrome (SBS) at the gendarmerie. The medical team had not yet mentioned this term. My husband was placed under arrest 24 hours after the event. It was upon my return to the hospital that I was informed of SBS. A scan and an eye fundus examination were performed.
During this announcement, it was said that a simple fall could not explain her condition and that our daughter had been shaken by my husband, but that he wasn’t necessarily a bad person. I responded that it was impossible; their opinion was definitive.
I was devastated: my baby was in brain death and my husband was accused. Additionally, we were informed of the placement of our first child. I was devastated and desperate. My husband, alone, had no news about our baby and learned during his arrest that a provisional placement order (PPO) had been issued for our eldest. He felt dead inside, extinguished.
We immediately thought of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), vascular EDS or osteogenesis imperfecta, at least a genetic condition that could explain the symptoms I might also have. We did extensive bibliographic research on the subject.
In the Judicial System
We were interviewed, along with my grandma, 24 hours after the event. My husband was then placed under arrest and in pretrial detention for more than 15 days with a ban on contact. Our eldest daughter was placed with her grandmother for 15 days before we could regain custody.
An investigation is still ongoing; our close relatives have been questioned, and they were clearly told that there could be no other reason than SBS. The autopsy conclusion has also been mentioned. We have no news; I called the person in charge of the investigation several times who indicated that it was not yet closed.
Living with Suspicion
This event completely destroyed us. Our eldest daughter, who is only 3 years old, believed her father had died because he disappeared suddenly one day.
Our relationship has been severely affected; we are trying to rebuild ourselves little by little, but it’s not easy.
Nearly 95% of our family has turned their backs on us, accepting the gendarmerie’s conclusion without further examination. We are isolated and depressed, struggling to keep going for our daughter so she remembers fighting parents rather than defeated ones.
The financial impact was catastrophic. Our finances were already fragile, and the detention of my partner pushed us into a precarious financial situation. We had to return to work regardless of our mental health to support our family and cover the costs of our defense.
We are now trying to reinvent our lives.
Today, the biggest trauma that persists is not being able to accompany our daughter together during her final moments. I had to disconnect her alone because my husband was in custody. This experience has generated a fear of the future and an inability to plan ahead, which still exists today.
For consistency across testimonies, this text may have been slightly edited or translated by artificial intelligence. If you notice any error or inconsistency, please don’t hesitate to contact us.
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