Lily (Baby aged 3 months, France)

Introduction

I have been a childcare provider for 5 years, having cared for twenty children in my large house. The house is equipped with a playroom, a Nido Montessori corner, and motor skills modules. All the parents were extremely satisfied with my services.

I am a mother of three children and have been married for twelve years.

Pregnancy and Birth

The pregnancy and birth of the child in question proceeded normally. I don’t have much information on this topic.

The Day Everything Changed

From the start, I noticed worrying symptoms in the child: frequent vomiting and difficulty feeding properly. He was also very lethargic. I alerted the parents to these issues, but they did not seem overly concerned.

A month after he arrived at my home, the child had his first seizure. I thought he was choking, so I performed first aid before the firefighters intervened. The child was then examined at home, but the doctor said he was fine and gave him a two-day break from care, returning to me the next day.

A few days later, he had another seizure. This time, the firefighters suggested there might be a neurological issue and took him to the hospital.

When the Diagnosis Fell

The child underwent several heavy medical examinations: scans, MRI, eye exams, and other tests. Doctors quickly mentioned a skull fracture, subdural hematomas, and torn bridging veins, suggesting a case of abuse.

I understood I was suspected when investigators called me two days after these exams. The medical narrative then shifted towards this hypothesis. I was abruptly told that I would be considered responsible, even though I had done everything possible to alert and protect the child.

During my detention for questioning, it was clearly stated that I was the culprit. Under this pressure, I even began to doubt myself, although I know I have never raised a hand against a child.

I experienced inappropriate behavior: violent accusations without considering my repeated alerts about the child’s health condition, a medical narrative seemingly based only on what the parents said, and investigators focused solely on building a case against me.

Emotionally, I was and still am devastated. I felt a mix of guilt, powerlessness, and anger at this injustice. I am constantly anxious.

The child had significant hypotonia and fragile health that, in my opinion, was overlooked. The slightest shock could have serious consequences. I learned that certain medical procedures, such as inserting an IV into the head for undiagnosed hydrocephalus, can weaken a baby’s skull (which happened to this child during a previous hospitalization for macrocephaly).

I believe there are two possibilities: either this child has a medical issue or he was shaken or fell in his family.

In the Judicial System

Detention for Questioning

I was placed under detention for questioning. This moment was extremely psychologically violent. The investigators told me I was responsible. It is a trauma that I still carry today.

Separation from the Child and Placement

I regularly see this child; he is now almost two years old and in good health, but it is always heartbreaking to see him so often.

Relationships with Child Protective Services

I have not had direct contact with CPS.

Course of Criminal Proceedings

The criminal proceedings are still ongoing. I was indicted despite numerous elements in my favor: my repeated reports on the child’s condition and my quick rescue reactions. A counter-expert medical opinion has been ordered.

Current Situation

Today, I am still waiting for a decision. Nothing is over, and it is this uncertainty that makes the ordeal so difficult to live with daily.

Suspension of Accreditation

Yes, my accreditation was suspended immediately after my indictment. Thus, I lost my activity overnight without being able to continue doing the job I loved deeply. This was a tear, a real bereavement because I had always received excellent feedback from families, no prior incidents, and a deep passion for my profession and children since childhood.

Relationships with the PMI

The PMI followed the administrative procedure by notifying me of the suspension. I had little direct interaction with them afterward. My case was taken up, but I did not receive genuine human support or consideration for my experience, pain, or even my explanations. I felt a brutal exclusion as if everything I had built and proven over years of work disappeared overnight.

Living Under Suspicion

Impact on the Couple, Family, and Close Ones

This ordeal had a significant impact on my relationship and family. My partner has always supported me relentlessly, but we have experienced moments of great fragility. My children were also affected: they sense my anxiety, see my sorrow, and live with the fear of losing their mom due to an injustice. My close ones, friends, and former employers were shaken and saddened by seeing me accused of something that does not align with who I am.

Impact on Health

Psychologically, I sank into a constant state of anxiety. Stress, insomnia, crying spells, and the perpetual fear of prison still accompany me today. My husband has also suffered greatly from seeing me in this condition, and our children feel a heavy worry. This is truly an invisible wound for our entire family.

Financial Impact

The financial consequences are enormous: loss of my activity as a childcare provider, legal fees… We have had to completely reorganize ourselves.

Changes in My Life

Since this tragedy, I have never been able to work with children again. I had to rebuild myself professionally differently and now run my own business, which allows me to continue giving care and tenderness but within a framework where I feel protected. This change was vital because I no longer feel capable of enduring the constant anxiety of an accident involving a child.

Persistent Feelings

Today, the dominant feelings are fatigue, fear, and anger. I have the sense that part of my life has been stolen from me, that I have been unjustly tarnished, and that my children have been deprived of their mother’s serenity. But I still hold strength and faith: I know I am innocent, I know I always acted with kindness and love, and I fight every day for the truth to come out.

For consistency across testimonies, this text may have been slightly edited or translated by artificial intelligence. If you notice any error or inconsistency, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

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