My labor lasted two days, and it was a natural birth. She was significantly larger than my other children. We went home, and she seemed fine.
The Day Everything Changed
She developed swelling on one side of her face. I hadn’t witnessed any injuries, so I wasn’t sure what had happened. That morning, I saw a general practitioner who assured me it was an infection and prescribed antibiotics. Three days later, the swelling subsided but then reappeared all over her face. I panicked and called 111, who sent us to the emergency department. The hospital administered more antibiotics before conducting further investigations. Two days after that, they checked for any injuries. I don’t know what happened with her treatment after my arrest that night.
When the Diagnosis Was Made
After two days in the hospital, she underwent an MRI, CT scan, and a full skeletal survey. I was unaware of any injury or suspicion until police arrived at the hospital two days after admission. It wasn’t until my arrest that I learned about the fractures and injuries. During my police interview almost 24 hours later, I was told of several more injuries. I couldn’t process it; I was emotionally distraught by the accusations. Even now, two and a half years later, I can’t make sense of it as much as social workers would like me to fit their hypothesis. From what I understand, only basic blood tests were done to check for common diseases and genetic mutations. I believe all types of diseases and disorders that could make a body more fragile should be tested for at birth. My family doesn’t believe I had anything to do with it because they’ve never been given a good reason. If there were believable accusations, this would be different. Social services or the police haven’t tried to convince them otherwise because they know their claims wouldn’t be believed over my lifelong history.
Inside the Legal System
I was taken into police custody for about 20 hours, during which I was interviewed and later brought back for a follow-up interview. My children were immediately removed from my home and have been away for two and a half years. Through family court, I’ve been told there’s no chance of getting them back despite the lack of evidence proving what happened or that I did it. They were initially in foster care for a year, which I later learned was not an appropriate placement according to my oldest child. My oldest reported emotional and potential physical abuse by these foster carers. The children then moved into my parents’ home but stayed less than a year due to medical reasons and other issues. I received no updates about my children; the foster carers didn’t want to communicate, especially the wife who seemed to have an issue with everyone. A notebook was suggested for communication between us all, but only the husband filled it out. He seemed alright compared to other foster carers. Currently, I’m still waiting on a decision from the police. I’ve been on bail for two and a half years for something I didn’t know happened until I took my baby to the hospital. For nearly the first month, I couldn’t see my children because the police wanted to speak with them, even though visits were supervised.
Living Under Suspicion
My mental health took a significant hit, and even now, I struggle with basic daily tasks such as cooking meals or maintaining cleanliness. At the time of my daughter’s assault, I was not in a relationship, but I firmly believe that this individual harmed her, which is why I ended things. This situation has affected my children terribly. My older two children beg social workers and professionals to let me come home, insisting that their mother did nothing wrong and is safe.
Financially, I lost approximately £1000 a month, yet I still have to pay most of the same bills. Visiting my children costs around £30 per week, which initially was not reimbursed by the local authority. Additionally, I prepare meals for them twice a week, with one child having allergies, costing me about the same amount each time. I’ve been single for two and a half years now.
I’m terrified of entering any relationship, fearing something might happen that I don’t know about. My social life has dwindled; I rarely go out unless necessary and have become extremely withdrawn, which is so unlike my previous self. I avoid talking to or meeting people, preferring solitude because being with my children feels more comforting.
Today, I feel incredibly frustrated as if I’ve made no progress at all. I blame myself for not recognizing the danger earlier and for not removing that person from our home sooner. The fact that it was my daughter who suffered instead of me haunts me daily. Every day, I wonder when I will have an answer to give my children, explaining why their mother can’t care for them despite her deep desire to do so.
I feel let down by the police and social services because no one has provided any answers. Even the family court judgment was based on opinion rather than concrete evidence against me. My hope is that someday I will be able to share my story publicly, at least for the sake of my children.
For consistency across testimonies, this text may have been slightly edited or translated by artificial intelligence. If you notice any error or inconsistency, please don’t hesitate to contact us.
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